Saturday, 9 June 2012

News 9th June 2012

NEWS     + Send us your news, pictures and videos so we don't have to bother to leave the office  

 New Supermarket Trials 
Selected supermarkets in the district will be trialling a new timetable on a rota basis. In response to suggestions received instore, there will be dedicated 2 hour slots for shoppers as follows:                

Blue Collar Workers
Busy Mothers after School Run
11- 1 pm Senior Citizens
Mother and Toddlers
Family time
Working Parents
White Collar Workers
Bargain Time! Reduced goods with short sell by dates. Open to all.
Shift workers and Insomniacs.

  • Fed up with buggies cluttering up the aisle?
  • Impatient with white-haired grannies fumbling for their change?
  • Annoyed by noisy children running riot?
  • Intimidated by professionals with their mobiles clamped to their ear?

If you are exasperated by other sections of society, why not give it a go?

Look out for the new timetables to be published instore and in the local press.

If you are a tolerant person who enjoys richness and diversity please be aware that not all supermarkets will be taking part in the trial, so you will still be able to mingle freely as you do your weekly shop.

Online options will still be available for those who prefer to shop alone.

Will YOU be using the new timetable? Do you have any further suggestions to improve your shopping experience?

Large 'Beast of Bucks' scares Wycombe residents 
An elusive beast is rumoured to be stalking around the town centre in broad daylight. Many people have heard tales of the colossus but although some are convinced they caught a glimpse of the creature out of the corner of their eye, no-one has yet confirmed a sighting.

It is said to favour several regular haunts, such as the churchyard and Frogmoor, but strangely it eludes all attempts to prove its existence.
Descriptions of the beast vary, with some of the more wacky suggestions including attire such as a string vest and knotted hanky. Others conflict with this and favour a smart blazer, cap and shiny shoes.

One common thread however, is the constant moaning and grumbling noises emanating from the beast in dark and shadowy old corners of the town. There have been few reports from the Eden Centre and it is believed to shy away from anything bright and modern.  

Have YOU seen the beast? Send us your reports.

COMMENT: Ivor’s blog

Have you read Ivor’s blog “Is Wycombe broken beyond repair?” in the Bucks Free Press?

As usual, he runs down the town while pretending to champion it. However, the man with an Intermittent Walking Disorder which at times causes him to writhe with pain, who never visits a doctor, doesn’t need to use a lift.
While repeating his usual criticism of the new Library, he says "Because learning should be accessible, it should be there ready without the need for lifts and stairs." When it was pointed out to him that the upper floor of old library was only accessible by stairs as there was no lift, he says “As I never use the lift it didn't really bother me.... “

His mission to “raise awareness of the problems the residents face in their daily lives” obviously doesn’t include issues which don’t affect him personally.  Perhaps he should change his name to Jack?

What do YOU think?

Olympic Torch coming to High Wycombe

In celebration of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the 2012 Games, Wycombe District Council launched the Cyber Torch online event yesterday. 

The idea is that you can download a PDF of the torch, print it out, fold it, and then take a photograph of yourself/selves carrying the cyber torch.
The best photographs are likely to be where a person is pictured carrying the cyber torch with a famous landmark is in the background, or perhaps in a comical situation.

Then send a message to the person on your 'friends list' who lives the furthest away. Then they too are invited to print out the torch, upload a photo of themselves with it before passing the torch on to one of their own friends who lives the furthest away.

The destinations that the cyber torch has reached across the world are being posted on a map and will be published online throughout the period of the torch being live.

What do YOU think?


Could you be a new Editor’s watchdog?  

A WATCHDOG from the general public is wanted to keep tabs on local newspaper editors in Bucks.

A public minded citizen is being sought out to take a scrutiny role, overseeing the work of journalists. Applications are encouraged from anyone in the Wooburn Green area who feels they could take on this exciting and important role.
Selection will be based on the knowledge, skills and expertise the individual can bring. A strong track record of relevant voluntary work would be considered a valuable asset. It is important that the successful candidate has an opinion on every subject and is prepared to spend considerable time conveying that in the most objectionable manner. He/she must know everything, be right about everything and convinced that everyone else is wrong. A strong conviction that they have a great sense of humour is a must. An ability to gratuitously insult anyone who crosses their path will also be looked upon very favourably. The watchdog will be offered counselling if anyone takes offence at this.
The most important aspect of this new voluntary role is to artificially inflate the comment count on all articles. A small commission will be paid if advertisers’ targets are met. Travel expenses to Loudwater will also be paid. Training is not expected to be necessary as the ideal candidate will already be completely familiar with every aspect of producing a newspaper and capable of doing a far better job than anyone else.
The closing date for applications is July 13.

Read Margot’s story
RIP Ray Bradbury August 22, 1920June 5, 2012

"Thinking about getting a hair cut or waiting for the Mrs...?"

Photo of courtesy of HWBIDCo

1 comment:

Lorrainej said...

Hi Morag, great Blog. The supermarket thing is a great idea, I do try to stay away at lunchtime, but with a timetable like that it would suit me perfectly. I can't make a comment regarding Ivor's blog, I am after all his most ardent fan.
The position for "The New Editors Watchdog" you won't believe this, but I know someone that fits your requirements to perfection, he is a bit of a jackass, and I hear he likes a drink or two. I will email you his details, after all I would hate to be accused of listing his details on such a public forum, somebody could complain and get them removed. Love the ducks