Monday, 9 April 2012

The BFP Zoo ....... Updated 5th May

donkey by johnny_automatic - an 19th c. drawing of a donkey
Lawrence the Jackass

Always wants to be the centre of attention so I am happy to oblige. Just this once. I must thank Lawrence for inspiring this blog. He is rude, objectionable and a total bore.I was staggered to discover that he believes that anyone who doesn't use their real name when posting on the internet is a "character" and not a real person. In his small mind, this means he can launch personal attacks on other posters because " if you are appearing under a fantasy name it can hardly embarrass you - only your character - no one knows who it is".  So total strangers don't have feelings? I wonder how he treats the customers in the shop where he volunteers?  Lawrence uses his real name, as well as Clyde the Retired Police Horse, Sanders the Telephone Butler - so funny :-(  This means he is easily traceable but obviously this doesn't worry such a likeable person.

Favourite words : "SEX!" "EVIL" You must draw your own conclusions. 

Here are a selection of recent fan quotes:

"Yawn Lawrence. Give it a rest."  ""MUMBLES

"Why do we always have to put up with the draconian immature ranting's of this juvenile idiot in every mailing? No I'm not referring to Ivor, but that extremely boring ImperturbableLawrence. This 'persons' comments just put me off from reading what others have to commenton about Ivor's blog, and I expect that others are also of the same opinion." DAEMONITE

"I agree, he seems to come across as very immature and attention seeking." IVOR'S BEST FRIEND

"Yes indeed. I propose that the BFP adopts Arizona's House Bill 2549. It would make it a lot easier for Steve Cohen to weed out troublemakers" PROCOPIUS!

If passed the Bill will make it  unlawful for any person, with intent to intimidate harass, annoy or offend, to use ANY ELECTRONIC OR DIGITAL DEVICE ......and.........unlawful to otherwise disturb by repeated anonymous ELECTRONIC OR DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS the peace, quiet or right of privacy of any person at the place where  COMMUNICATIONS were received."
running chicken by johnny_automatic - THE
Steve The Chicken is a great fan of free speech. He talks of a vibrant community in a safe online environment but is reluctant to take action against anyone who offends, ridicules or posts malicious views unless they are actually obscene. Then it becomes an offence under Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003.

Richard Bacon has written a very interesting article for the BBC News Magazine.

Perhaps we could learn from Dom Joly? Read his article "Troll Wars" here

charging goat by johnny_automatic - The Art of Caricaturing by Mitchell Smith, 1941 Frederick J. Drake & Co. - stated as Public Domain by
Alberto the Goat

 (actually I couldn't decide between a goat OR a dog with a bone )

Endlessly repeats unsuitable things it has read about. 
Has trust issues. Favourite word "LIAR!"

Triceratops by laobc - A silhouette of a triceratops.
Ivor the Dinosaur

Ivor's job is to provoke comment and he excels at this. He comes from the Liz Jones School of Journalism and has been annoying readers for years. Despite this, he attracted many witty and intelligent posters. His blog had a real community feel to it which was fun to read.  Unfortunately, many felt that he overstepped the line six months ago and moved to another site. Who can blame them? That was the start of Lawrence and Alberto's reign of terror. They soon moved in and grew in confidence.
"Like a good pub a good blog should encourage (and protect) the diversity and richness of all human conversations that pass there" MICK FEALTY The Telegraph
Sadly, Ivor and Steve the Chicken fail to appreciate this.

BunnyRabbitHeart by lillyarts - cute bunny rabbit holding heart. It's a bunny in looooove.
Lorraine loves Ivor and is his most ardent fan.

standing duck by johnny_automatic - a cartoon of a duck standing human like from a U.S. patent drawing
Morag - can't stand rude, ignorant people

Peacock by Viscious-Speed -
Edna - exotic old bird
Darling of the literati


wasp by johnny_automatic - a wasp stated as public domain at
Procopius! - Waspish with a sting in
the tail
Gorilla by papapishu - This image was donated by Pearson Scott Foresman, an educational publisher, to Wikimedia Commons, and is thereby in the Public Domain.
JBB -Witty, intelligent and talented.


Fighting cat bw by papapishu - Cartoon pirate cat from

Demoness - Always ready to wade in

dogs fight over bone by johnny_automatic - Caricature, the Wit & Humor of a Nation in Picture, Song & Story, 1911
Mel - Animal Lover not afraid to speak her  mind

another giraffe by ha1flosse - ..another giraffe..
Nic - Independent thinker
never afraid to raise her head above the parapet
wise owl on books by johnny_automatic - Professor Knatschke, selected works of the great German scholar and of his daughter Elsa, collected and illustrated by Hansi, 1917
The Wise PCC - comments always good value and highly respected
crab by johnny_automatic - Lessons in Zoology by Clarabel Gilman, Common Animal Forms, New England Pub. Co prior to 1911
Brachyura - World Record Holder
Rarely seen but always makes a welcome contribution when he turns up.
Would like to hear more from him 

fox by johnny_automatic - a fox from
TomMarlow - Confident. Self Assured. Articulate.  "My recommendation is to become a Guardian reader - not only do you acquire a much "greener" lifestyle, but you get to feel pretty smug about it too"

Sad mouse by johnny_automatic - English Fairy Tales 1927

Flora Annie Steel
Kent - He ASKED for it :-)

hedgehog by tzunghaor -                                                                                    
Rebecca - Prickly with a tendency to rub
people up the wrong way

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing by jonadab - Watch out for false teachers. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.
Usvelt - Sheep in Wolf's Clothing
Bleats on endlessly.....

A Voter

Smiling pig by lalolalo - a smiling cartoon pig                              Antique Television by rg1024 -
Piggy Dave has an unhealthy obsession with sandwiches (and BBC2!)

veggies by johnny_automatic - cartoon vegetables (garlic or onion, potato, carrot) based on US government PD file
Got any biscuits?

No, sorry I ate them all. Have a nice carrot stick instead?

waiting out the storm by johnny_automatic - AN OLD WOLF'S FAVOURITES
Animals I have Known

Ivor's Best Friend

 "Waiting out the Storm"

The following frames are left blank because they are always drowned out by Lawrence. We are never given a chance to get to know them. How many other voices are waiting to be heard? How many have been put off, never to return?

 Who would you like me to put inside?


Black Frame by inky2010 - Glossy Transparent Frames                 

Black Frame by inky2010 - Glossy Transparent Frames




demoness the second said...

I was a bit worried at first but I have to admit - this is very good.
My favourite HAS to be the chicken - spot on xxx

Morag said...

I am so relieved - thank you D! xxx
I am delighted by the response I have received and hope that others will comment here and not in the OTHER place.

demoness the second said...

I will reply in both. I will continue to boycott Ivor's blog. But the other place is okay( if you are referring to BB).

Morag said...

Thank you. No I meant the Letters page! I don't have access to BB.

demoness the second said...

I hope they do too. One thing though - you could have made my cat a little more glamorous looking. I was thinking more "Cat woman" than Thomas O Malley :))))

Morag said...

Sorry about that :-( What does a glamorous cat look like?! I found cute cats,dozing cats, fat cats and crafty cats.. none of them seemed quite right! A swashbuckling pirate cat seemed much more appropriate!

brachyura said...

Hi Morag, Good luck with the new blog.

Morag said...

Hi Brachy, Lovely to hear from you! Thanks for your good wishes.

Lorrainej said...

Brilliant Morag. I Hope you no longer think I am rude, especially not to you. More ducks please.

Morag said...

Thank you Lorraine! I think you have actually been very supportive - especially with the ducks :-) Look out for the duck in my next blog posted here in a few days time .....

J B Blackett said...

What can I say ? I have now given myself an all-over body shave so that I don't look quite like the picture. Although the low forehead is still a bit of a give away.
Perhaps some dextrous skull-diggery (trepanning?) could solve that.
But as for the wit and intelligence - what you cannot see , you cannot get.
Well Done , Morag - your talents are completely wasted on the BFP - try Viz or Private Eye for international exposure (which I suspect you secretly crave).
The cartoons / comments are well observed , carefully selected and should cause no offence (to the majority) Regards

Morag said...

Thank you JBB. I am blushing - which is why I could never cope with international exposure. Far too modest :-)

No offence intended at all to the majority. Hee Haw!!

Ivor's Best Friend said...

Very good!

I would post more on the website, but trying to filter out all the rubbish posted by Lawrence gets tiresome after a while.

Do you know if he has ever been sectioned?

Morag said...

Yes, my point exactly IBF! Tiresome, irritating, tedious, annoying, wearisome, dull, boring, exasperating, irksome.

I think there is a strong case for euthanasia: for the "character", of course :-) The "real" Lawrence needs our pity and should seek help.

demoness the second said...

Hi IBF :)
I am pretty sure you have another handle on the BFP website - am I right :))modir

Mel said...

I see I wasn't forgotten! Good to see you around again. Since the boycott began I've only commented on I**r's blog once and that was at Xmas to wish those people who were no longer on BB a Merry Christmas.

Following a few comments on BB about the one thinks we all like reading utterly inane comments repeated over and over again about sex and evil etc, he threw his toys out of the pram and has departed BB and I have to say I don't miss him at all.

Morag said...

Of course you weren't forgotten, Mel :-)Lovely to have a chance to talk to you all again.

Well now, that is very interesting. The Jackass was the reason I left BB. I went back to I**r because I thought at least I was free from The Jackass there, since he was so committed to the boycott. Big mistake. I had no idea that he had departed BB. None at all. Thanks for that.

J B Blackett said...

I personally am not convinced Lawrence has actually departed. He's a renowned lurker and could pounce in an instant - possibly has diplomas or other qualifications in Lurking with 'EVIL' intent.
Watch your steps and what you might tread in.

Morag said...

An EVIL LURKER you say? I have always admired your wordplay, JBB.

Mel said...

JBB you may be right but I think it was made very clear to him by the BB Admin that his behaviour was putting people (me and I know of two other's) off posting on BB. So if he did start postulating again he might get short shrift.

Morag said...

Steve the Chicken please note.

Free speech should not mean that those that persistently shout loudly about evil and hate are the only ones to be heard.

Full marks to BB Admin.

J B Blackett said...

Is that why Abu has not signed in recently either ?

KentP said...

I wasn't going to post here (not least because I've seemingly been forgotten about *sniff*) but the ostracism of the jackass has been mentioned, which as board admin, I was heavily 'involved in'

to set the record straight, I have not banned him... I suggested that if he couldn't behave himself, then perhaps he should leave

...which he did (its been a lot quieter than it used to be, but we will have been 'larry-free' for 5 weeks tomorrow)

...oh, and that's not to say his account still has full access to the boards, as it doesn't - but nor is it disabled (as I said at the time, I didn't want to wave the banhammer around, I just wanted him to shut the f**k up) :)

Trip said...

I stopped posting on 'the board' because Lawrence was stinking the place up with his posts.

I also got my account banned from the BFP for posting the video of Ivor singing his song, oops!

J B Blackett said...

Are you a music publisher or the composer of the song that Igor was singing in the hope of net royalties ?
Or are you naturally averse to music chanted cheesily by charmless cheating cheapskate charlatans ?

NicM said...

Hi Morag - I love my giraffe, thank you :D I just wish my legs were a bit longer in real life (although I have got an abnormally long neck!).

I haven't been too well lately and have neglected both BFP and BB but have missed everyone.

I also promise not to behave like a schoolgirl :D

Morag said...

Hi Nic - glad you like the giraffe! It's great to hear from you but I am so sorry to hear you haven't been well.

Don't worry, I have Brachy, Tom, PCC, JBB, maharaja, IBF and Trip in my schoolgirl gang, as well as Mel, D & Lorraine. Not sure what the "boys" will make of that :-)(I accidentally slighted Kent so I think he is a bit cross with me. Sorry about that,Kent - we middle aged schoolgirls have a few memory problems.)

V sorry if I have forgotten anyone else. All welcome!

Thinking of you, Nic. Best Wishes.

Morag said...

P.S. Hoping to post my new blog tomorrow everyone!

KentP said...

haha no worries, I cried a bit for the first day obviously, but I'm mostly over it now :)

besides, its (annoyingly) in my nature to prefer being forgotten to being labelled, so I figure I've got off lightly!

looking forward to seeing what you've got for us tomorrow!

Morag said...

Oh dear Kent, I feel bad now :-(

I have looked in my clip art library and found a very nice sad mouse, penguin and sheep.... er perhaps I'll leave it!

I have been overwhelmed by the response to this blog so bit nervous about posting another tomorrow. Thanks for your support everyone. x

KentP said...

ha, I reckon I could live with 'sad mouse'... though I don't like to make a fuss

(or perhaps because I don't like to make a fuss)

Morag said...

Hope you like him, Kent! Although I can't help feeling that you have compromised my artistic integrity. Are you really that cute? ;-)

demoness the second said...

Teehee - I do not think of KentP as a mouse at all! More like a debonair animal such as a fox with a monacle.
Someone who does not say much but when he does, it makes an impact :)

KentP said...

alas, 'fox' was taken already D... you gotta roll with what's available, and I would struggle to identify with a penguin or (heaven forbid) a sheep

that said, I always use images of the fennec fox as my avatar on MSN, Skype, etc, so you're not at all far removed from where I would have placed myself in the animal kingdom - good work!

J B Blackett said...

That's alright den.
Now nobody will hound you on here.

demoness the second said...

@ Kent - you see I told you I was a great detective! :)))

Morag said...

Hey everyone! It appears "someone" complained about the link I posted on Ivor's blog so it has been removed (for now). Fair enough! It's lucky so many of you have already found me :-)

I've also had an awfully nice email from Steve the Chicken (luckily he has got a sense of humour)offering me a blog on the BFP (the other one, that is).

I'd love to hear your views on that before I reply to him ...

demoness the second said...

Morag I am not surprised. Ivor does not like competition.
All I can say to Mr Cohen is really that there is free speech and there is darn right offensive material. Some of Ivor's blogs have been horrible - the paedo one is why I stopped posting. Then there was the one he wrote about people committing suicide from Eden car park - the same week that some one actually did jump. I do not think that this is in the public's best interests to read this and I do feel that Ivor's blog SHOULD have some sort of moderation.
I belong to a few forums and the best ones are those where people are courteous to each other and do not post things to deliberately inflame. Not clever, not funny.
The pen CAN be mightier than the sword as we have seen from some of the more tragic cases of trolling on the internet.
I stopped commenting on Ivor's blog - partly because someone told me that I should stop harassing Ivor and give others a chance to comment. Fair enough.
But the main reason was that I got cross and I did not like the constant repetitive behaviour by the blogger that became an annoyance.

Lorrainej said...

Do you think they would delete it because of a complaint. Steve Cohen is quite stubborn when it comes to removing posts. Do you think Ivor might feel his nose has been pushed out.

Morag said...

No, I don't think it was Ivor. I think it was someone else who may not like this blog *giggles like a schoolgirl*. But I could be completely wrong!

Anyway, no problem. 590 pageviews so far..

KentP said...

as long as you get to keep full creative control, you should go for it - you could run one on the bfp in parallel to whatever you post here... Melissa Blamey does just that to good effect

(as it goes, I don't think the bfp is so bad for its blogs really - I quite enjoy reading Blamey's blogs, along with Phil Makepeace's chess blogs and Will Lacey's farm blogs - the genuine(-sounding), interesting slices of people's lives they present are a breath of fresh air from the preachy rubbish we get from the Transition Town blogs, or the sensationalist tall-tales you presumably still get from Ivor!)

Lorrainej said...

I wouldn't like to think it was Ivor, but I think it strange that Steve Cohen would remove a comment like that, it wasn't offensive, and he's really quite rigid. I think I will ask him. Your blog is doing well, you must be really chuffed.

brachyura said...

As your link is still present on the Letters comments and has only disappeared from Ivor's blog I would think that he was responsible. When Eris had her blogs he got quite nasty about it, as Demoness says he doesn't like competition. Of course we could all post "Have you read Morag's blog" at the end of every comment we make on the BFP and see how many are removed (or where from)……….

If Mr Cohen has offered you a blog then he can't find it offensive, as for taking him up on his offer would he have accepted your last two blogs? Also comments will no longer be restricted to "school girls".

demoness the second said...

Of course he is responsible. We know that Ivor edits his own blogs as and when he feels fit. So I am quite sure he would have happily removed this comment without a second thought.

Morag said...

Thanks for all your input, everyone. I will get back to you later.

D, Steve Cohen told me the link was removed following a complaint. Ivor has removed posts in the past "without a second thought". I still doubt he would follow the "official" route. I probably shouldn't mention this, but there are other links which haven't been removed :-))))

Morag said...

Some very good points made here re my own blog on the "other" BFP. Thank you.

Kent - I hadn't thought of running one in parallel. I wouldn't have the same creative control that I have here though. (I am too soft here anyway. I mean - you a sad mouse, really?!)

Lorraine - Thank you, yes, you are right, it has given me a bit of a much needed boost.

Brachy - Love the idea of you all adding a link to my blog every time you post on the "other" BFP! LOL. There is just a very slight chance it may not be necessary, watch this space ;-)

No, I don't think Steve Cohen did find it too offensive. HOWEVER, you hit the nail on the head with "Also comments will no longer be restricted to "school girls".

I wrote my blog because I felt intimidated and offended by the abuse. Why would I want to subject myself to that again?

wayneo said...

Wonderful stuff, you hide on the BFP site quite a talent Morag, though I'm confident that DM is a prettier cat in real life :-)

Though I'm cautious (but reluctantly appreciating the other point of view) against any censorship, it's a really good blog, maybe one day we should all get together for a pint.

Morag said...

Thanks Wayneo. Yes, I am quite sure D is a much prettier cat too, but I wanted to show her spirit!

I believe everyone should be able to put across their point of view in a respectful manner, without deliberately causing distress to others. I guess it's never going to happen though:-(

I'll settle for a bacardi and coke... nice talking to you.

wayneo said...

It will happen and it happens with sites like these. I think sometimes we all forget ourselves now and again, i've been reminded by DM and NicM a few times to mind my manners but ultimately, by challenging people and having the guts to admit when we're wrong is the best way. We've all had our moments and we might not agree on everything but we can do it politely which is something I strive to be better at.

As I see it, I have no idea whether Ivor is real or not but what Lawrence is doing is nothing short of bullying, if it's not challenged on the internet then it doesn't get challenged in Schools when children need support most. peer pressure rather than mere moderation can make a long term difference.

Morag said...

Wayneo, Yes, we all have our “moments”. Often in the heat of an argument we say things we shouldn’t and we are rude or dismissive of others points of view. It happens.

However, Lawrence has been persistently abusive for over six months. Ivor often appears to encourage this behaviour. After all, it keeps the comment count up, doesn’t it?

To me, it is a master class in bullying on the website of a “family newspaper”. What sort of message does it send out, especially to young people? “Had a bad day? Life not turning out as you wanted it to? Socially inadequate? Take to your keyboard and feel good about yourself again!”

demoness the second said...

Well looks like said bully has found another person to harangue mow. I have to say that he is very abusive and his latest post on the BFP site is bordering on misogynistic. However I think Wayneo is more than capable of defending himself :))

Morag said...

Give us a clue, D. Whereabouts on the site? I really don't want to have to wade through any more of his posts than I have to. Far too time consuming!

demoness the second said...

I don't normally like doing stuff like this BUT I also dislike misogyny in any form.

Morag said...

Oh yes, now I see it. Perhaps someone should reply to his post with a reciprocal link back to the Bucks Freedom Press so that everyone can see which website he inexplicably keeps referring to? ;-)

Lorrainej said...

Its done Morag, but I don't suppose it will shut him up

Morag said...

Thanks Lorraine. I think it might eventually. Not far off 1000 PageViews now.

Lorrainej said...

Hi Morag, lets hope so. Its well deserved there was obviously a lot of work put into both of your blogs. I have enjoyed reading them very much, and still go back and have a chuckle. Look forward to the next one, although it must be very time consuming, so I won't pester you.